Hello! As promised (like months ago) here's the rest of the Old Chapter 1 - Lorentz part. It's now uploaded to the Extras section!

If you have no idea what I am talking about: The Din has an old iteration that was drawn traditionally and printed in fanzine format. As mentioned in the info-section, I rewrote (and naturally had to redraw) most of the beginning of the comic when I realized I could do it much better. I promised to upload the old pages as soon as I finished posting the new Chapter 1. I am a bit late, but... better late than never? :3

My previous blogposts (seen here and here) on Gregg's part of the old pages have been a bit analytical. I'm going to do the same thing about Lorentz' part of the old pages in this blogpost. Keep reading if you are interested in knowing why I decided to rewrite/redraw the beginning of the comic!

Here goes!

So the biggest issue of Lorentz' part of The Old Chapter 1 is that the characters were very similar to eachother. I had a rather clear picture of the characters stories, purposes, general traits, but for some reason most of them ended up being angry, quirky and goofy on my first try to introduce them. And they swore a lot...

Look at how angry they are! Even Fozt's landlord is angry!

So I scrapped that. 

I also wanted a more interesting introduction of Lorentz. In the old pages he's just a weird guy who cares for his drunk friend and decides to move in with him to make sure he stops drinking. He also happens to have a daughter and a wife that he just leaves behind for some odd reason. In the first few pages he also hangs out with a random dude (who will be properly introduced later) with a big glass of beer. Hypocrite much?
  

In the new pages I really wanted to push the interesting parts of his character: his interest for mechanics, technology and adventure. Also that he tries hard to combine those interests over wanting the best for his family and friends, even though it's hard to make ends meet. In the new pages I think it's easy to tell that he's kind and a bit selfless by the way he's around Tova, Merleva and Fozt + the way he runs his delivery business - so I don't really need him to go as far to move into Fozt's apartment.

Which is why I decided to burn the apartment down completely instead. *gasp*

I also removed the introduction of two supportive characters and moved it to Chapter 3 instead. Edmund (the guy with long, dark hair at the bar) and Denilou (the angry guy at Lorentz' and Fozt's work place). I tell you, everyone are angry! They are not important at this point, which is why I removed them.

Another important change is the level of technology presented in the old pages. There is a TV, telephone and a radio in their homes. While this advanced technology do exist at this time of the comic, telephones are rare in homes, Fozt could possibly not afford a radio and Lorentz could not own a TV. So this was removed too. (Lorentz does however own a radio, but there will be more on that later!)

Merleva was one of my biggest issues with the old pages. She is angry most of the time, she cleans her kitchen to calm down (*face palm*) and Tova doesn't seem to like her that much. She is supposed to be a worrier, alright - but I want her to be likable and an important, stable piece of the family. But she felt disconnected in the old pages.

Even if she only appears in a few pages in the new version, I tried to make her more interesting and warm. She's still around the dishes (doh), but she runs their coffee shop, works hard and is more warm and welcoming towards the rest of the family.

I like the new Merleva much better! <3

And here comes the sadest change of them all:

I removed the family parrot Shout Machine. Brölmaskin in Swedish. 

It's really difficult for me to make her fit into the rest of the story, so I removed her. Also, since Lorentz is having allergies/asthma, it's a bit weird for them to own a bird. (Then again, back when my family had a gazillion of budgies, my allergic grandmother would not react to them? It's different for everyone, I guess.)

I miss the parrot, so who knows - maybe she will return in one way or an other. :)

That's about it! I really like the new introduction of Lorentz' part of the story, compared to the old one. I hope you do too! I had a bit of a laugh reading through the old pages, of course. There are some good qualities there and I was a bit better at establishing shots and ambient/mood/wordless panels (even if they were a few). But all in all, I think the new pages are for the better - and I plan to move on from here and just keep improving by analyzing what I am good at and what I could work on more (both art and storytelling wise).

Go here to read Lorentz' part of the old Chapter 1

Thanks for reading!